As you probably figured out by now, everything and I mean EveryThing comes down to sex for me.
- Eating – to be nourished for sex
- Sleeping – to be revitalized for sex
- Working – to afford the finer things and pamper myself in order to enhance myself for sex
- Exercising- you guessed it, to stay in great shape for sex
Sex rules me. It consumes my every thought. Yet there is another element to me. One that I greatly struggle with and have not fully embraced. Even though I have a loving sexual nature, I also have a dark side. For as much as I desire to make love, the other side of me is eager for pain and destruction. Mainly to myself.
I do not receive love well. Hell, I do not receive it at all. Emotional turmoil and heartache are aphrodisiacs for me. They only come in second to my all time favorite activity of Fucking. My dark side is an emotional, mental, and physical masochist. It yearns for chaos.
I take a man to the peak of passion with great sensual care. Yet once there, I yearn to unleash all his true emotions… I want to taste the raw savagery of his lust. My goal is to break open his well-gaurded dam and stand back as I am flooded with his feelings of violence, ferocity, and power. I seek to throw him over the edge, make him lose all self control. This is the only way to bring his wild animalistic nature to life. Many supress and bury this part deep inside themselves. I strive to awaken their dark violent beast and feed on that energy.
The beast lays dormant in most men. It requires a lot of mental torment for it to emerge. The kinder the man, the more subdued and contained the beast. Good men do not wrestle with it… It sleeps soundly within them never needing to rise.
Unfortunately, my dark side demands to touch, taste, feel every lover’s beast. Sex without it is like eating only half a meal. It leaves me hungry and craving for more. Never satiated.
This is the reason I gravitate towards the ones with wicked hearts. Their beasts are right under the surface, tearing away at the poorly constructed cage that imprisons them. Sex with these men is like jumping into an inferno. Their beasts escape quite often. Once free, they rain fury in catastrophic proportions.
It is quite delicious….